


Fuck Destiny

by Swan_Secrets



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Femslash, Screw Destiny, Swan Queen Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-02 20:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15804237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swan_Secrets/pseuds/Swan_Secrets
Summary: When their soulmate test comes back negative Emma Swan has to deal with her certainty that she is meant to be with Regina.





	Fuck Destiny

Emma blinked. She was confused.

Regina’s gaze became steely. “Explain it again.”

The Mother Superior pursed her lips and swallowed under the intensity of Regina glare. “I assure you it is impossible for this to be wrong, it's infal...”

“Explain it again,” Emma found her voice, though it was weak, sorrowful.

The Mother Superior gave them a sympathetic look and nodded. Emma and Regina were sitting across from her in her office in the Cupid Ministry. Emma had known something was wrong the moment they'd been told the Mother Superior herself wanted to see them.

“The results of the test are always one hundred percent conclusive,” the Mother Superior said, starting almost word for word as she had the first time she'd broken the news. Emma listened, desperately seeking anything that would give her hope. “Your test was one hundred percent conclusive. Emma, Regina,” she looked at them in turn, that horrible empathy in her eyes. “You are not soulmates. You are not destined to be together.”

Emma felt like crying or screaming or raging or giving up. It was devastating. It was the opposite of what her heart told her.

The Mother Superior in her neat blue uniform clearly pitied them. Emma didn’t want pity she wanted to hear there had been a mistake. She wanted a loophole or a secret or a way to make this truth and what her heart told her fit together.

“The test was wrong,” Regina insisted.

“It wasn't,” Mother Superior assured them gently. “It is factually true. The two of you are not soulmates.” She pushed a piece of paper across the desk.

Emma glanced at it. It had her name and Regina's. ‘Not a match’ was right there in stark red letters on the page.

“Fortunately administering the test does also give a glimpse at the identity of your soulmate,” Mother Superior slid another two sheets of paper over, one to Regina, one to Emma. She smiled at Emma. Emma took the paper, Regina snatched hers up too.

There wasn't a lot of information. Her soulmate was a Jim or James. He was a perhaps a sailor or other occupation related to the sea. He was dark haired and dashing.

Emma didn’t understand any of it. Her soulmate was a guy? She’d never had any romantic feelings for a man, only women. None of this resonated with her at all.

Emma looked to Regina.

Regina looked annoyed. “I know the person this is describing. His name is Robin.”

“Robin is your soulmate?” Emma shook her head. “No, No way. That's impossible.” Robin had a girlfriend, Marion. While they hadn't had a soulmate test yet they were perfect together. Regina's result made as little sense as hers did. How could this be happening?

Mother Superior was still giving them that terrible pitying look. “I understand this is a surprise to you both and that even though you believe it what you feel for each other is not True Love. When you are your soulmates come together you'll know the real thing, I promise.”

Emma looked over the paper in her hands again. No. It just didn’t make sense at all. She loved Regina.

“When you are with your soulmate you'll look back at this and realise this was just a passing phase, a fleeting romance before you experienced the wonder of True Love. We've found in these situations a clean break is best for everyone. Regina you might want to speak with Robin.”

A clean break.

Emma and Regina had done this so that they could confirm what they felt. They had been talking about moving in together. They had talked about marrying. Now that was all gone. The test had shattered the future they'd dreamed of.

Without saying anything Regina stood and walked out of the Mother Superior’s office.

Emma was frozen. Oh fuck. This was it. They weren't soulmates so instead of being together forever their relationship was over. Gone in a moment of divine truth.

“Take comfort in the truth Emma. Your soulmate is out there, and you will find him. Destiny will bring you together when the time is right.”

Emma just nodded. Numb. The world as she understood it had just fallen apart. 

***

That night Emma couldn’t get to sleep. She couldn’t stop going over it again and again and again in her mind.

She gave up on sleeping. She sat up and turned on the light and grabbed her tablet and started again looking for hope.

Emma knew it all from school but she went over it all again.

Soulmates.

It was a fact that everyone in the world had a soulmate. In general they found each other, sometimes they needed a little help. The soulmate test was hundreds of years old. It had never been wrong. As science had advanced the truth of this had only become more and more certain.

Emma's search for hope had the opposite effect. It was a rock solid fact that Regina was not her soulmate. It was a rock solid fact that her soulmate was a man called Jim or James that had a connection to the sea.

Emma had always felt attracted to women. She had never had a boyfriend. The visit to the Cupid Ministry had thrown her entire life into confusion. The woman she loved with all her heart wasn’t her soulmate. She was actually bisexual (or maybe even she was really straight and just got it all wrong from the start) and her True Love was actually male. If she had gotten these things she was so sure about wrong what other parts of her life had she failed to understand? A spiral of doubt and fear overwhelmed her.

She felt grief consume her. A deep sorrow for herself. Everything she was, everything she thought she could be, was unravelling.

Did Regina feel this way too? Or had it been a revelation for her. Was she glad to expose the truth? Was she happy she could now seek out her soulmate and find True Love?

It was that thought that finally made any lingering hope she had vanish.

***

Light from her window dazzled her as she woke.

Curled up on the bed Emma had cried herself to sleep. For a beautiful moment she felt fine.

Then it all came crashing down. The weight of the loss made her want to stay in bed forever.

It was after noon before she managed to get up. The need to pee became too great and as miserable as she was wetting her bed wasn't an option.

When she was done she stood in the doorway of the bathroom. Should she just go to back to bed? There was nothing she wanted to do. But wallowing in sadness didn’t have any appeal either. Should she just tell herself to get over it and move on? There was no changing the truth, there was nothing she could to or say to fix what had been broken.

At some point she’d have to go and pick up her stuff from Regina's place. While they hadn’t officially moved in together Emma had spent most nights over the last year or so at Regina's. There was no way she could face doing that today though. 

Eventually Emma went back to bed. She spent a long time just staring at the ceiling, thoughts swirling in her head.

***

Emma woke.

She looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was almost five.

Her life was still a disaster.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was starving. She got up and made poptarts. She forced herself to eat them even though she didn’t really enjoy them.

Emma wondered what Regina was doing now.

Gradually, over about half an hour, Emma's thoughts and feelings aligned and she came to a decision.

She quickly took a shower and got dressed. Her decision was a terrible one. Logically she knew it. But in her heart, in her soul, she knew it was what she had to do.

***

Emma parked her car, a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, a block away. That meant she could still change her mind. It was a certainty that what she was about to do would make her feel worse, but if she didn’t try then she'd regret it, and she figured maybe that would be just as bad.

She took a few breaths to compose herself. It didn’t help much. She was an emotional mess.

Emma got out of the car before she could talk herself out of doing this.

She walked fast and forced herself to slow as she approached Regina's house because she didn’t want to be out of breath.

At the door she tried the deep breathing again. It still didn’t help. She rang the doorbell. She counted sixteen heartbeats before the door opened.

Regina.

Regina was gorgeous and Regina was amazing and Regina was everything. Just seeing her made Emma believe that maybe they could survive this.

Regina had obviously been crying.

“Emma,” her voice was barely a whimper.

“Hi,” Emma said. She'd gone over what she'd say over and over but no words came.

They stood, looking at each other.

“I love you.” Emma finally said, out of everything she wanted to say they were the only words that mattered.

“I love you too. But we're not destined for each other.”

“Fuck destiny,” Emma took a step forward. “I choose you Regina.”

The few seconds it took for Regina to respond were torture for Emma.

“I choose you too,” Regina nodded.

Emma closed the gap between them, pressing her lips to Regina's.

The kiss was intense. A rush of emotions. Hope after all. Emma felt so much love for Regina she felt like her chest could burst. Still kissing they stumbled further into the house. Regina pressed Emma back against the wall.

Regina finally broke the kiss. She closed the door and took Emma by the hand. Together they rushed up to Regina's bedroom.

***

Emma and Regina were curled up facing each other on the bed. They were naked and happy. Emma had never felt such a strong connection to someone. Sex was always good between them but this had been a different level. The need and desperation and joy had made everything feel heightened.

But of course she had to remember that that reality hadn’t changed.

“I can’t understand how it's possible you're not my soulmate,” Regina said.

“This is True Love,” Emma nodded. “It has to be, it’s impossible for me to love anyone more than I love you right now.”

Regina kissed her. “I feel the same. But...”

“But nothing. I meant it. Destiny, fate, soulmates, all of it. It can all fuck off. I choose you Regina.”

“I choose you too Emma.”

They kissed. Emma let herself get lost in the wonder of kissing Regina. At the back of her mind though she knew what they were doing was going to be a struggle. But she'd made her choice. They would just have to live with the consequences. As long as she was with Regina she was sure she could deal with anything.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Swan Queen Week Summer 2018 Prompt: "Fuck Destiny, I Choose You"


End file.
